For I dreamed as a young girl of being many things ... but most seriously about being a photographer, a photographer for Life magazine. I started collecting Life magazines and would stare at the photos dreaming about being able to do what those photographers could do ... capture a story in one single picture. Of course, this was back in the day when we didn't have digital cameras and had to buy rolls of film and then send them off and wait days to see what image you had actually captured. We had some inexpensive camera I would carry around and snap pictures of everything and everybody, honing my craft I'd like to call it, but more often than not I was just wasting film (money). But my parents finally took me seriously and invested in a fancy (expensive) 35 mm camera and I was thrilled. It was the acknowledgement that I needed from them that they not only believed in me but also believed that I was somewhat competent. One year on my birthday, I received several expensive lenses to use with the camera and was told to "Go pursue your dream Gaby." I overheard someone say as I unwrapped the gift, "I sure hope she makes a career of this, for those are some pricey toys." To this day I will never forget what my father said in response ... "Well, even if she doesn't become a world famous photographer, she should have the opportunity to pursue her dreams, big or small. It isn't about the money, it's about encouraging her to dream. And giving her the opportunity to follow that dream as far as she wants." In that exact moment I remember not only feeling that the pressure was off but I also knew that no matter what happened and whomever I "became" I knew my dad thought I was good enough to invest in and actually believed that my dreams, no matter what they were, would come true.
Well ... I didn't become a world famous photographer ... and along the way some of my other "dreams" did not come true ... but all the while I never forgot that moment in my life when having a dream was scary and I was anxious about pursuing it, and there through it all was my dad giving me the encouragement to proceed, no matter the outcome. "Don't ever stop dreaming Gaby. For when you do, you will lose your way, you will lose your light."
So, when my kids come to me with some new sport they want to pursue, some new career that want to have, some new invention they think will change the world, I try not roll my eyes or think about how much this is going to cost but instead, I remember a time when I had a dream and I had a person who believed in me. So, I smile and say ok ... if you want this then lets make this happen. And as I look around my house tonight, I could just see drums, guitars, flutes and keyboards clutter a corner of my house. I could only see football helmets, lacrosse sticks and gymnastic leos piled on the floor or also just see art pieces hung on my walls but instead I am happy to see lots and lots of dreams encouraged. Some of them might not be who they become and more often than not they are left forgotten to collect dust. But it all makes it worthwhile the moment my son sits down once again at those drums and gets lost in the beat, or the instant I catch my daughter doing a back flip in the backyard and mouthing the word "yes!", or even when my youngest son simply grabs a football and goes outside to practice his throw. In those moments, I see that the encouragement wasn't wasted, that their light hasn't been lost, it is still shining.
So tonight as I sit with a box full of journals, stories and pictures, tons of pictures, that were once my dreams, I can begin to see my light once again shine. Thanks dad for always seeing the light within me and reminding me it still shines, even when I thought it had faded.
Awesome!
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